The Doctrine of ROSHAMBO

THE DOCTRINE OF ROSHAMBO

I realize that nobody but me likes Primary, but I really do.

I guess that it really started years ago when I was a Priest, and back then there were assignments made to bless the sacrament and pass it to the kids in the primary. It seems to me that we did it twice every Sunday; once in sacrament meeting and the other time in Primary. Anyway, I would sit there as an example to the kids and everybody else in the room and do my part to keep the reverence and solemnness of the occasion.

This thought leads me to many years later when I was married and some of the oldest boys were in the CTR class that I was teaching. We’d go to sharing time and be singing songs and listening to the messages taught when one of the kids, normally one of the young girls in the class sitting next to us would fall asleep and start to nod off. I’d keep my eye on her and whenever she’d start to fall on the floor I’d slip over to her and pick her up and go back to my seat and sit with her sleeping in my arms. Her brother was in my class, and for this writing, I think that I’d refer to her as a gentle soul as her brother was definitely related to the Laman and Lemuel clan. After sharing time, her mother or father would come to get her and I’d hand her over to them, well rested and ready to go home. In a sense, if someone would have gathered us both up and let me go to sleep in their arms, I honestly would have enjoyed Primary even more.

Now I don’t know who comes up with the semaphore code that the kids use in Primary when they sing but whenever they’d sing “The wise man built his house upon the sand, the wise man built his house upon the sand…….and rocks,” it was more like the kids were acting out the game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Some kids, even the older ones, didn’t even get the hang of pounding their fist into their hand (that was the signal for building your house upon the rock) and so it looked like a bunch of out of controlled flailing, drowning rats. That, along with shoving each other as they stood up, didn’t do much for reverence.

Like I said, “I don’t know who comes up with the semaphore code that the kids use in Primary when they sing,” but whoever it is needs to know that since it has been done for the past 20-30 years that it has now become church doctrine; as you can’t go to Primary without someone waiving their hands or pounding their fist into their hand whenever that song is sung. You don’t have to be in Primary to witness the practice of the doctrine, just make a mental note to look for it the next time that there is a presentation in Sacrament meeting.

That thought leads me to the song, Book of Mormon Stories. That is one of my favorite songs and ironically has its own doctrine of rock, paper, scissors.

If you listen closely to the introduction and beat of the piano it reminded me of the indian drum beats that you’d hear in some of the old western Lone Ranger movies. The BOOM, boom, boom, boom, BOOM, boom, boom, boom, BOOM, boom, boom, boom, would come into my mind and since it was about the “Lamanites in ancient history” I would teach my kids how to make the BOOM, boom, boom, boom, noise on the bench while we were singing the song. Hey, I figured that it was just the same as pounding the fist into the hand in the other song and I always thought that it would be fun to establish a new doctrine.

So, the kids are doing it and the chorister stops the group and says, “If Brother Norton’s class would stop making noise, we will continue.”

I look at my boys and give them an insincere scowl and she starts all over…….while they make faint drum beats on the bench. I’m hoping that my drum beats, over the years, will become doctrine too.

That brings me to the last time that I was in Primary. I was asked to be the 11 year old leader and as such I got to, once again, enjoy Primary. This was a few years ago and by now there were many more songs that were given semaphore signals too. There is even one where they use the doctrine of American Sign Language to sing. I think that that one is “Love One Another.”

Popcorn Popping On the Apricot Tree, Once There Was A Snowman, Nephi’s Courage, Scripture Power are a few other songs of great arm and hand doctrine.

Well anyway, we’re standing and singing the song (I can’t remember the name of it, but I think that it was "Love One Another"), and I teach my boys how to do the signals for the song, “YMCA” as we sing. So we get to the chorus and we’re all on the back row preaching and doing the YMCA doctrine. The chorister is laughing, the Primary Presidency is laughing, and nobody else sees us because we’re on the back row. They don’t even ask us to come up to the front of the Primary and demonstrate the new doctrine to the rest of the group. Why is that? It seems as though my new doctrine is being rejected. I’m disappointed as you can probably tell. As the early missionaries know, new doctrine will not be accepted immediately but as the seeds are planted, they might grow into a mighty oak. I realize that it may take a lot of preaching to get doctrine to be accepted. I’m not discouraged in the least as I hope that sometime in the future it may be accepted.


So much for teaching the kids the doctrine of rubbing your tummy with one hand, and patting your head at the same time with the other. 

My hope now is that they’ll understand the true doctrine and let it be taught……and, I’m no longer in Primary.